Death of my rescued, golden retriever dog, Zoë
My heart is brokenMy tears continue to stream uncontrollably down my cheeks to my empty body.
I am still feeling her dying in my arms as the wonderful home vet Hedley gave her her final deep sleep.
She was the grandchild I never had. The love that knew no criticism, no bullying, no fault-finding, no phoniness.
She needed me and now there is nothing, no contact, no leaning on me, no loving eyes trusting me to take care of her through her fits and to love her better after her cruel brain created her epileptic fits, then ceased, and left her so confused and vulnerable. Silently saying 'What has just happened Mum, help me?'
I loved her so much and now there is nothing, no jumping, no wagging tail, no little happy grunting chats, no loving eyes saying 'Please is it time for my tablets and dinner?'
Just memories and feelings; which have changed from love to loss.
Be happy and well in your doggy heaven Zoe. I miss your touch and your tenderness towards me.
Few people have given me what you gave me. Thank you. I wait to change my painful emotional experience into a painful memory.
No more pain now.
Love Mum
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